Those of you who follow me on Facebook (www.facebook.com/ChildBehaviourSolutions) will know that I recently put out a video on to the page asking you what you would like to know before meeting with me for any (paid for) sessions.
A huge thank you to those who commented, and I hope the responses posted on the page were helpful. I also had some email questions sent to me and am responding to those via this article as I realise they are basic questions anyone might have but I don’t think I have really answered them before (hangs head in shame!).
The questions (and my responses) are as follows:
- Who do I share information with?
The truth is, there is little need for me to share information with any other professional organisations unless they specifically ask for a report (having paid for the sessions). In these circumstances, I provide a report explaining the topics and strategies discussed – I never share any personal information. It is a very generic report.
All information I do hold is held securely in a locked filing cabinet behind 2 locked doors.
The only exception to the above would always be safeguarding concerns. If anything is brought up in a session that I feel needs support in terms of safeguarding, I would first explain to you that I would be seeking advice in respect of safeguarding and then I would seek advice. It would be a very rare situation where I would not discuss the situation with you first.
- What is my overall ethos in respect of child behaviour/parenting?
In respect of parenting, I believe that 99% of parents are doing the best they can with the information and ability they have – and that should never be judged. I also truly believe that as the parent of the child (for who you are seeing me), you are the expert of the child. I can give you strategies and ideas and a safe space to explore what is going on at home – but you are the expert of your child. I can not stress that enough – never let anyone tell you differently. A lot of people may be involved with your family – and they will all have their own expertise and that should not be down-played. However, they are not the expert of your child – you are!
In respect of child behaviour, I believe that when children are struggling with something (whatever that may be; could be anxiety, autism, grief, etc), they will behave in a way to try and let us know they are struggling. We may not like this behaviour – it may be aggressive, challenging, rude or even regressing – but the behaviour itself is a communication. If we can hear what the child is telling us, we can be much more proactive. Children want to be the best that they can; they do not want to live in a world of turmoil – and as soon as we can understand their behaviour, everybody will be happier.
I do not believe that a child showing signs of challenging and/or disruptive behaviour is a sign of poor parenting.
- Area of expertise/Years of Experience
I have worked in a parenting role since 2006. I started working at CYPS but left to set up Child Behaviour Solutions. I left because I felt like I was failing several parents who were attending very prescriptive parenting programmes. The work I do has much more of a bespoke feel to it. I may have a topic in mind for a session, but this can change in the blink of an eye depending on what a parent brings into the room. The important part of the session for me is that the parent leaves feeling they have been heard with an idea of how to move forward.
I work with any family where a child is showing challenging behaviour. This may be due to a diagnosed condition such as Autism or because a child is showing aggressive behaviours.
There is no (child) age boundary in respect of who I can work with. I have training in working with mums who are in their 3rd trimester in pregnancy right through to working with parents of 16-year olds. (Beyond 16, I would be looking at counselling for the young person rather than parenting work – www.smallstepscounsellingservice.com.
I am a trained Counsellor and bring my counselling skills into the room where appropriate. Using my counselling skills, I also work with young people who are struggling with emotion.
To be able to provide best practice, I regularly attend trainings (either at a venue or online). I am about to embark on EMDR training – a strategy used where trauma has occurred) – and will aim to specialise in working with children using EMDR where appropriate.
So, hopefully, that answers a couple of questions you may have about how I will be able to support you as you travel along the parenting path. I am always happy to answer any questions you may have – and offer a free 30-minute consultation for new clients who want to assess me – and work out whether you want to work with me.
Child Behaviour Solutions – our aim is to help you, as a family, reach your true family potential.